


Local millionaire farmer HATES national chain store! What happens next will shock you!

by TypingMonkey (purty64)



Series: It's Good To Be Rich [1]
Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: BASICALLY if I COULD do this in canon I WOULD, Gen, I can't fix it now without rewriting all the tags and who has time for that?, I know I spelled JojaMart wrong but look, JojaMart - Freeform, Rated T for swearing, Winter, anti JoJa mart, don't. read this if you actually like JoJa mart, i really don't know what to tag this, not a lot but still, rich player
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 19:57:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18611449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purty64/pseuds/TypingMonkey
Summary: Concept: if everyone is paid to stay away from JojaMart, JojaMart will have neither employees nor costumers. If JojaMart has neither costumers nor employees, JojaMart has no money. If JojaMart has no money, JojaMart has no reason to stay. Therefore, JojaMart will leave.Step one: pay off employees.





	Local millionaire farmer HATES national chain store! What happens next will shock you!

**Author's Note:**

> Do you ever think about how much better Shane's life would be if he never had to work at JojaMart again?  
> If only, if only.

_“Hey! Shane! Wait up!”_ He spun around, positively shocked to have someone shouting his name at seven in the goddamned morning on his way to _work_.

“Oh! It’s you.”

“Yeah! Me. Anyway,” the runner took deep breath, still trying to catch it after his sprint, “I want to make you an offer. A monetary, offer. With money.” He paused “About your job.”

“My _job?_ ” That would explain why he caught him so early, but… what?

“Yeah.” The man stood up straight and put his hands on Shane’s shoulders, face dead serious. Shane started fidgeting, the contact and proximity making him uneasy. “Shane. I will pay you to never go near JojaMart again.”

Shane stopped fidgeting. He looked the farmer in the eyes, mouth hanging open, dumbfounded. _“What?_ You’ll _what?”_

The farmer’s face hadn’t even twitched. “I will pay you to never go near JojaMart again. It’s very simple.”

“Wha- how much?” He took his hands off Shane’s shoulders, sliding them in his pockets.

“How much do you want?”

Shane gave him a suspicious look, leaning back slightly, assessing him. “Seven hundred a day?” It was a little more than he got paid now, and would certainly cover his rent and current… lifestyle.

The farmer _laughed._ “That’s _it?_ Wow! Damn, okay, done!”

“What do you mean, that’s _it_? That’s a lot of money!”

“Shane.” He sobered up and placed his hands on either side of Shane’s face, forcing him to keep eye contact. “Shane. My friend. My guy. I make stupid amounts of money. Such, absolutely _obscene_ amounts of money. I pay about that much for a _bus ticket_ , Shane. That is less, significantly less, than a day’s wages for me, Shane. Shane. I’m fucking rich, Shane. I currently have _on me_ more money than you will ever see in one place. That is NOT a lot of money, Shane.”

During this Shane slowly leaned back, just a little, eyes going wide. Once the farmer finished, he whispered a little “holy shit” under his breath.

“Yeah. Holy shit. So!” Abruptly he jumped back and clapped his hands together, grinning. “What do you say, Shaney boy? Howzaboutit?”

“Uh.” Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. “This isn’t some kind of charity case, is it?”

“What?” He stopped rubbing his hands together. “Oh! No. No, this isn’t out of pity. I just really hate JojaMart.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. No pity here, just pure spite.” Shane still looked unconvinced. “Okay, so I did pick you first because I like you and you deserve better, sure, but!” He flung out his hand, silencing Shane’s clear start at a counter argument, “it’s mostly because I consider JojaMart unclean, putrid, and awful! And I’d like to deprive them of labor and customers so they run out of money and _leave_ so I never have to look at them again. So, spite!”

Shane rocked back onto the balls of his feet. “That seems… reasonable.”

“So?”

Shane put his hands in his pockets, thinking. If he took it, he’d have a lot more free time, not to mention more money. He’d be able to hang around the farm more often, take better care of the chickens, maybe spend some time with Jas… “Alright. I’m in.”

“Great! Just meet up with me on say, Friday afternoons? to pick up the money. I’ll see you then!” The farmer grinned, wildly shaking Shane’s hand then spinning on his heel back towards his farm. Shane stood in the middle of the town square for a moment, hand outstretched, then shrugged, and turned himself back towards home. Seems like he’d have a few more hours to sleep today. And, he supposed, everyday. He smiled up towards the grey winter sky. This could be _good._

**Author's Note:**

> anyway fuck JojaMart


End file.
